Writing,Substance Abuse, Recovery and a film. Made in Venice.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on September 16, 2016 by gerilewis001

Periscope up!  I lived the life of a spiritual  submariner buried beneath the seas of despair, depression, broken heartedness and confusion. The still is from an interview in the documentary film Made in Venice. This was the complete bottom of my 40 some odd years of substance abuse. Many would never know watching the film, many others at time were oblivious and a select few were fully aware of my condition during the shoot. Truly a miracle I am alive today. The interview was shot just after Mimi had me arrested. Two days in the Las Vegas clink. Two days travel time to L.A in time to play a Venice All Stars show at the now defunct Key club. I drank myself into a stupor.  An angry, broken hearted, black daze of fury of hurt. I ended up in the West Hollywood jail after being ejected from the Key Club, fighting with and getting my ass kicked by L.A County Sheriff of West Hollywood fame.

I was defeated.

My last drink of alcohol is May 24th 2011. The interview was shot not much longer after. I was in VA treatment facility and released to take part in the film.

It has been a long road of recovery.

Looking back through the film shook me. My face gaunt and pale. Eyes hollow and haunting. I may have been talking about a particular subject and cognizant but my heart spirit and soul are completely broken.

I put down writing the memoirs for two years. I surely love Mimi. However I have learned to love myself. It has taken 5 years of recovery. Half a decade of sobriety and I am just learning what it really requires to act like a man. One of those lessons is to love myself enough to face my problems. Another lesson is women are not objects for self gratification and objectifying. One more lesson of the hundreds I have been taught is porn stars are not stars. They are prostitutes. If you watch pornography, you are a john.   All are very broken people. Especially the performers.  Pornography harms people. The industry is brutal and dope infested and not a vehicle of free speech but rather oppression and self loathing. Industry. The word is a description of how people are devalued in and by pornography.   People are a commodity  nothing more.

I have a solution now and it does not require checking out via drugs, alcohol, prostitutes and other means of self abuse. I’ve picked up the writing and God willing will have  the memoirs  published soon.

Thank you for allowing me to be of service.




Still from Made in Venice The Movie. All Rights Reserved.

White’s Pass Washington USA

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on September 16, 2016 by gerilewis001


My journey begins in the high desert chaparral of Yakima following the Naches river. I pass through the hamlet of Naches and hang a left where the Tieton river joins the Naches river. I accelerate into the Wenatchee National Forest. The Tieton river is now on my left and the deciduous tress of the riparian zone quickly give way to the conifer forest. The air, sounds, and smells are a sensory delight. I especially enjoy the cool mountain air and pine scent.  Of course snow is on the upper elevations and the landscape looks like a Palomino horse’s coat.


Soon enough I am into the the Rainer National Forest. Passing  White’s Pass ski resort and  rounding curve in the road, Mt Rainer suddenly appears. The mountain is so overwhelmingly dominant in its size and beauty it actually dazzles me. I pull over to gaze at the mountain in wonderment. The Cascade mountains and forests are truly magnificent.



Kicking it with Kurt Cobain. Aberdeen, WA. USA

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on September 15, 2016 by gerilewis001

20160807_095349I was never to much of a Kurt Cobain fan while he was alive. Mainly I did not dig the hype. I recall watching the Unplugged video on MTV in the barracks during my tour of duty. Seeing old buddy Pat Smear from the early L.A punk rock days playing with Cobain was a pleasant shock. Nirvana was freaking huge homie. There was no escaping the hype. I rejected the band on principle. That very principle being something Cobain gravitated to, punk rock. Irony is so very sweet yeah? Pat the embodiment of L.A punk rock is in the band!

I did not learn to appreciate Cobain’s genius until 20 years after his death. I still get the impression after reading many biographies he was a bit vapid in my take on him. However he died very young and there is no dispute as to his prowess and  musical genius as a song writer and guitar player. In homage and respect I stopped by the town of Aberdeen Washington on my travels. Visiting Aberdeen it is not difficult to see and feel why Cobain’s writing is oft depressing and dreary, gray and down.

Cobain’s former childhood house, a very nondescript house in an equally nondescript neighborhood  has been freshly painted and is for sale. Some say it is haunted. I think it is just overpriced in an economically  depressed logging and fishing town.  Rest in Peace Kurt Cobain.