Jesus, Recovery, and Attempted Murder.


First of all from outside appearances one can easily assume me my life is fairly trouble free and without a great deal of stress. Humbly and pointedly I wish to convey, I have been blessed with an abundance of wealth, health and prosperity (in many ways other than monetary accumulation) in my half century of existence.
However I do have problems. Many I am certain of you can empathize and or sympathize with. Personal loss, rejection, anger, failure, doubt, depression, worry, regret, resentment, and remorse to name just a few are constant companions of the human condition. Have you met anybody that has not felt these emotions? Christ Jesus who many (myself being a believer and disciple as well) believe to be God felt all of these emotions just as you and I.

I suffer from PTSD from a variety of sources having been abused as a child, been involved in life threatening situations, and circumstances as a young adult, a soldier in the US Army, and as an older adult in my late 20s, 30s and 40s.

The mere fact of being alive and the everyday pressure from society, exerts stress on the human condition physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. I have several situations and circumstances that are none to pleasent among them underemployment, a 15 year old that does not want talk her father right now as I “upset her” an older vehicle that is slowly falling into disrepair, constantly barely making ends meet on the rent & bills, and staying clean and sober.

Yeah, those last two words catch your attention Kimosabe? In the past my “go to” in dealing with any sort of problem and the stress was the drink, the dope and the accompanied violence, prostitutes and assorted users and abusers that ultimately made life even more miserable and unbearable. Hey if this situation strikes any sort of cord rings a bell or otherwise sounds remotely familiar, I highly suggest you seek treatment. It won’t end up any other way except in a prison, mental ward or grave.
I’m three years in recovery. I have a variety of new methods, treatments, and “go tos” to help stay clean and sober now rather than the old “go to.” Among those are AA, the Veterans Administration and most importantly of all Jesus Christ. Where is all this leading you ask? Keep reading Kimosabe.

Like everybody else I have a Facebook account, and reading along I come upon an acquaintance’s post. Acquaintance is the most appropriate word I can dig up now as he was a friend at one time. However the fellow sunk a large knife in my chest stopping my heart. Yeah he basically murdered me in front of hundreds of people no less. It is a long story so I will cut to the chase. (Click the link if you care to get the entire story.) I got saved and forgave this fellow and he proclaims the same. As God has proclaimed only He can judge and I will leave that right there. Getting back to the fellow’s post, he announces he is “going to prison” and the accompanying photo has a prison visitor entry form with his hand writing filling in the required information (see photo).

Reading the post, it gave me immediate PTSD symptoms; I relived the entire incident immediately. My body tensed up as I felt the 6” scar in my left side with my right hand. I felt resentful of this fellow posting this as it were something he is proud of this and his lack of consideration.

It is great said fellow is doing prison ministry, isn’t it enough to say this in itself? What is the point of posting “attempted murder”? However my opinion is not of importance I don’t know what said fellow intended and spending time on this will and get me into much trouble. Therefore into action I must go to reclaim my serenity and maintain my sobriety.
Immediately I prayed to the Lord God Jehova to help me forgive any perceived slight and I mentally gave the burden to Jesus. Secondly I then called a friend in the program and we discussed the incident. Next I went for a walk around the block and counted the letters in street signs. Finally I wrote about the situation. I don’t have to use to feel better. The incident will pass.After all I’ve got plenty to be grateful for most of all God’s mercy and forgiveness.

Step #12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.


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