Dealing with Adversity and Disappointment in substance abuse recovery.


Head in Hands

 

I have had my share of disappointment and  adversity that is for certain.  Recently I have experienced a big let down. I worked very hard at a job I really enjoyed. Never the less, I was fired. It hurts. I feel used and misunderstood.However this cannot be the focus of my thinking.  The experience has past. There is nothing I can do to rectify or salvage the situation. Therefore what can I do to ease my discomfort?

I have a choice.

I don’t have to use .I understand I am suffering. I can be kind to myself.Observe the feelings, give them value yet not overvalue the feelings. Not everything I am feelings is absolutely true. I am not a failure. I just failed at this particular circumstance and situation.It is ok. Nobody is perfect.

In the past I used and abused drugs, alcohol and others.  Physically fighting with others, becoming involved with prostitutes and other abusive and self-abusive women. These were the things I turned to in the past as an avenue of escape and solace. However this lead to an self-abusive situation, leading to many more problems.

The difference ? My life became unmanageable.  I realized ( had to over time) my solution to stop my emotional pain was destructive. I realized I am not in control. I surrendered to God. Everything. My (self) inflated ego had to perish.

Now.

I am in a fellowship, I join them in discussion.  I write you. I count letters backwards to take my mind off of myself. I go out and be of service to others, be it greeting others to a meeting or serving a meal at a soup kitchen. I get out of myself.

It has not been easy getting to this point in my life but I got here through the help of others and God.

Not my will but your will  Lord.

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